/u/[deleted]'s posts in /r/TwoSentenceComedy

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What happens when you cross a dog and a child?

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When I was a child I was scratched by a bobcat, then years later I was attacked by a bobcat

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A priest was consoling a condemned outlaw.

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after the explosion, my friend was just a skeleton with eyes.

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My dog would always scratch on the door when he wanted to come back in from the garden.

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You pick up your nose

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"It was unfortunate, therefore that the demented unicorns joined the brawl and skewered me not ten minutes ago!" Flavius Flibbersmitch said, reclining in his plush afterlife chair. "But enough about me, how did you die?"

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I broke up with my boyfriend after finding out he was a gang member.

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She tied her hair into a bun.

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I'm Ian. NSFW

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Title	Upvotes	Mark as read	Favorited	Rating	Add to a list
What happens when you cross a dog and a child?	1
When I was a child I was scratched by a bobcat, then years later I was attacked by a bobcat	1
A priest was consoling a condemned outlaw.	1
after the explosion, my friend was just a skeleton with eyes.	1
My dog would always scratch on the door when he wanted to come back in from the garden.	1
You pick up your nose	1
"It was unfortunate, therefore that the demented unicorns joined the brawl and skewered me not ten minutes ago!" Flavius Flibbersmitch said, reclining in his plush afterlife chair. "But enough about me, how did you die?"	1
I broke up with my boyfriend after finding out he was a gang member.	1
She tied her hair into a bun.	1
I'm Ian. NSFW	1